tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50127221603734943502024-02-21T21:38:06.342-08:00imkrishnam.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-59548480939560622122017-09-12T23:14:00.001-07:002017-09-12T23:14:09.504-07:00Up Close With Rude Malaysian<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="344" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/spDT0VWVd-s" width="459"></iframe>m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-85803624991918769772015-02-07T20:24:00.000-08:002015-02-07T20:24:11.750-08:00profile of Krishna<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">After being an experienced full time journalist
for the past 25 years, he is currently freelancing for CNN, BBC, Al Jazeera, German, Australian
TV networks and international newspapers, New York Times, TIME magazine, The Age.</span> <br />
<br />
While working as an officer at Tenaga Nasional (1969 to 1979), nation’s
leading electricity company, Krishna freelanced and wrote news and
features for the New Straits Times, Bernama, Far Eastern Economic
Review, Malaysia Business and The Economic Bulletin. In March 1973 he
obtained his Certificate in Public Relations Professional Examination
from the Institute of Public Relations Malaysia. From 1979, he studied
communications covering media, print and broadcast at the University of
Tennessee, Knoxville, and gained his BSc (Hons). Whilst at university he
played a prominent role in the Knoxville festivals, cultural events and
was a key player in promoting the 1982 World’s Fair. He organised a
meeting for student leaders with President Jimmy Carter, an
unprecedented event at the university.<br />
<br />
Krishna has a proven track record in coaching CEOs, directors-general, chief secretaries to ministries and ambassadors in media relations and crisis communications. His hands on, practical and cutting edge training focuses on building strategic thinking and leadership roles as heads of departments and spokespersons of organisations. His tips on developing excellent communications skills empowers and gears up his trainees for high-level performance. He has successfully designed, developed and delivered high-impact experiential end-to-end trainings. Krishna is self-motivated, resourceful, able to multi-task to manage multiple media relations training and projects. At the same time he works tirelessly on inculcating these qualities among his trainees while striving for continues improvement.<br /><br />Krishna’s key domain of expertise and experience is in communications in its widest sense. His portfolio encompasses marketing, feature writing, public relations, social media use, writing media releases, copywriting for advertising, script writing, documentary production, speech writing and presentation skills as well as reportimng and production for television. He has worked across a wide range of private sector businesses, including transport, oil and gas, banking, financial services, tourism and pharmaceuticals. In the public sector his experience extends across NGOs, police, the diplomatic service, domestic ministries and in leadership and business forums.<br /><br />At the same time, he is passionate in providing insight to senior and middle management clients with practical training in communications, public and media relations. As a consultant, he manages and executes reputation management, media and stakeholder relations programmes for both home-grown clients and MNC brands. His new business is developing excellent spokespeople for organisations.<br /><br /></div>
m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-75984175448956114212015-02-07T19:59:00.000-08:002015-02-07T20:08:55.856-08:00PM-Krish<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span lang="LT" style="mso-no-proof: yes;">Krishna briefs PM Najib at innovation conference and expo </span></div>
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m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-69178906429320756162009-09-24T01:25:00.000-07:002009-09-24T01:32:03.101-07:00Smile When Angry<div align="center"><strong><span style="color:#ff0000;">SMILE WHEN ANGRY<br />CONTROL ANGER BEFORE IT CONTROLS YOU<br /> ANGER HURTS<br /> SMILE, LAUGH AND CHANGE YOUR LIFE<br /><br /><br />SMILE WHEN ANGRY</span></strong><br /><br />I have enjoyed writing this book because my main objective was to “tame” myself when angry thoughts began to take charge of me. I am indeed grateful to my family and friends for the encouraging comments, especially to those who helped me proof read this book.<br /><br /><br />THE PERILS OF ANGER<br /><br />Anger gives rise to teeming troubles. It kills the face’s smile and the heart’s joy. Left uncontrolled, it will annihilate you. It burns even friends and family who try to intervene, and easily leads to injuring others.<br /><br />DEFINITION<br />What is anger? Google the words anger and definition, and answers.com defines anger as a strong feeling of displeasure or hostility. Some of the synonyms for anger are: rage, fury, ire, wrath, resentment, indignation.<br /> These nouns denote varying degrees of marked displeasure. Anger, the most general, is strong displeasure.<br /> Rage and fury imply intense, explosive, often destructive emotion: smashed the glass in a fit of rage.<br />Wrath applies especially to anger that seeks vengeance or punishment: saw the flood as a sign of the wrath of God.<br />Resentment refers to indignant smoldering anger generated by a sense of grievance: deep resentment that led to a strike.<br />Indignation is righteous anger at something wrongful, unjust, or evil: “public indignation about takeovers causing people to lose their jobs” (Allan Sloan).<br />Source: www.answers.com<br />BRIEFLY ANGER IS…explosive or implosive. Explosive is the type of individual who screams at the counter staff for not attending to him. Implosive the counter staff who remains quiet for a few days and finally shoots everyone in the store.<br />Studies by anger experts propagate that anger is the symptom of a deeper problem. There is a lot of pain and hurt that needs to be addressed. We have to learn how to manage the pain before one explodes.<br />There are various triggers for anger ranging from mild irritation to violent outbursts. Underneath every anger lies fear. Anger is nothing but a defense mechanism, and sometimes it is directed at protecting one’s ego.<br />What happens when a person gets angry? Anger stimulates the release of hormones adrenaline and cortisol into the blood stream, which mobilize the body in the short term but can be destructive if chronic.<br />Pent up anger can also lead to a rise in blood pressure and ulcers. To deal with stress and anger, spend quality time on your own, meditating, taking a cold shower, watch a movie, count 50 backwards, drink cold or warm water, whichever is your preference. The key is to remember is that the temper is the one thing you can’t get rid of by losing it. So, find out the root cause of anger and control anger before it controls YOU.<br />Some quick tips to manage anger: Don’t jump to conclusions, relax, smile and laugh a lot when angry to bring your temper down and forgive the person who hurt your feelings.<br />Now, a word of caution: When an emotion begins to cause problems of relationships or hamper you and your family life, it’s advisable to seek the help of a counsellor or an expert who has a successful track record in tackling problems related to anger.<br />One out of the five Americans has an anger management problem. Anger is a natural human emotion and is nature’s way of our perception of an attack or threat to our well being. The problem is not anger, the problem is the mismanagement of anger. Mismanaged anger and rage is the major cause or conflict in our personal and professional relationships.<br /><br />Domestic abuse, road rage, workplace violence, divorce, and addiction are just a few examples of what happens when anger is mismanaged<br /><br />1<br />SMILE WHEN ANGRY<br /><br /> It’s easy to say SMILE WHEN ANGRY, but difficult to practice, one would argue.<br /><br />Okay. So do you want anger to take control of yourself? Control anger before it controls you. If you can't control yourself who is to be blamed?<br /><br />When we are driving, we are in control of the car so that we don't run into an accident. When I am typing this manuscript, I am in control of myself so that I can get the facts and the flow of language right. It is only when I cannot control myself, I get angry.<br />Anger becomes a habit if we cannot take charge of our own mind. The other day, in a hurry to get to work, I overtook another car and at the traffic lights, the car driver cursed me verbally. I waved at him apologetically, and looked away and smiled looking at the mirror in the car.<br />Yes! I made a mistake, and I took full responsibility for it as I was reminded of the book that I was writing SMILE WHEN ANGRY.<br /><br />In whatever situation, I have realised that unchecked anger spoils relationships. Some people have short fuses and explode at the slightest provocation.<br /><br />It gets worse when I get angry when the coffee spills, lights are not working or my car does not start. Anger can wreak havoc in your life and the lives of those around you unless you take charge of the anger within you.<br /><br /><br />Can you recall the number of times you have cursed the toaster, the car, the traffic lights and your own personal computer when it does not work. The angrier we get with the computer, the more it seems to crash.<br /><br />Some distancing is all what it needs for things to get better. While you reboot your computer, you should perhaps do another job, like photocopy or make a drink for yourself or for your colleagues.<br /><br />Whatever the circumstances, I have survived by practising these self-help techniques in trying NOT to get ANGRY.<br />· Never argue with angry people. You won't be persuasive, and you're likely to get angry yourself.<br />· Don't interrupt. Let the anger by someone else run its course.<br />· Stay loose. Listen.<br />· If things get bad to worse, draw the line and walk away.<br /><br />During my schooling days, after a fist fight with friends, my late father told me: "You may be angry, but must you be stupid, and make a fool of yourself and hurt someone else."<br />He has often reminded me: "Sometimes, it is good to say sorry and make the relationship healthy. Admit or acknowledge that the problem exists as soon as possible."<br />In whatever we do, we should not make any decisions when we are angry as it will hurt us or others in future.<br />2<br />WHERE DID I GO WRONG<br /><br />I get angry because another person provoked me, lied or said something to agitate me. Looking back at the situation, I ask myself if another person lied, why should I raise my blood pressure and get angry?<br /><br />Let's examine what went wrong with me. Because the other person did not live up to my expectations, I got angry. Therefore, should I expect everyone to think like me, talk like me and agree with me. Hey! My conscience tells me that’s not a fair thing to do.<br /><br />Whenever I got angry I would write my feelings down. Most of the material in this book are my jottings and research from my anger journal.<br /><br />This book is not the answer to solve all problems concerning anger. I cannot provide all the solutions. Only some tips will help you overcome anger. Reading this book alone will not be the “be all and end all” to anger.<br /><br />Practise! Practise! Practise! What you read. It may be difficult because I am still practising in overcoming moments of anger. When someone makes me angry, I stop for a moment and reflect on my anger. I try not to say or do anything. If I say something provocative, in a fit of anger, I may hurt or damage the relationship.<br /><br />Using the techniques and ideas proposed, even you will be able to develop new behavioural skills in overcoming anger. Remember the famous Chinese proverb: “What I hear, I forget; what I see; I remember; what I do is what really matters.” It is only through practice of these tips, you will be able to explore yourself what you do in your own life, and put the new ideas on anger in this book into action.<br /><br />MOVE AWAY WHEN ANGRY<br />· Do not stay near the person who has provoked you.<br />· Anger and agitation gets the blood heated up<br />· It takes three months for the blood to cool down.<br />· Within that period, the nervous system become weaker and even the blood cells get destroyed.<br />· Weakness is aggravated and the memory power is reduced.<br />· Old age sets in prematurely.<br /><br /><br />3<br />TALKING PROVOKES ANGER<br /><br />Provocative words like: "Mind your own business", "Shut up", "I am right you are wrong", "Don’t argue with me", and there are many more that will make anyone angry. So what's the formula not to get angry? Don't talk.<br /><br />Listen, and if the person has hurt your feelings, let continue talking and tell yourself: "If he or she thinks that I am going to get angry, I will not."<br /><br />When you’re are in control of your mind nothing rock you or shake you.<br /><br />To stop irritating yourself or escalate your anger, ask yourself what is it that is annoying you? Go within to review what made you angry. Re-examine the real reason behind your bad mood. Then, smile for a moment, focus on something else and shift your mind to happier moments of life.<br /><br />People are usually less critical of you than you are of yourself. We are all not perfect, but we can strive for perfection.<br /><br />Imagine caught in a traffic jam. Feeling stressed or pulling your hair and getting upset will not make the traffic move faster. Though you may have little control over the situation, you can control how you respond.<br /><br />Take a deep breadth and say mentally: "I'm cool, calm and relaxed," then decide to enjoy the time by meditating or singing along to the radio or switch to do something else so that would switch your attention."<br /><br />Angry thoughts are often triggered when we have experienced a stressful day. So, if you've been busy all day and still feel stressed, try tensing and then relaxing parts of your body. This is often done in yoga and other exercises.<br /><br />Start tensing your face, and then move down your body from your shoulders to your feet. Afterwards, do something relaxing like lying down and imagining some beautiful scenic place like the distant sea or some beautiful garden.<br /><br /><br /> 4<br />CONTROLLING ANGER FROM WITHIN<br /><br />Sometimes when I attend a course to improve myself, I wished my boss or my wife was with me listening to the lecturer.<br /><br />A close friend and management guru J.M. Sampath said such an attitude would not make any difference in the productivity or efficiency of the company or my personal life. He told me, I should ask myself: "Can I change or am I going to remain the same and blame others?''<br /><br />"If you don't discover yourself through the process of self-inquiry, nobody else can do it for you.''<br /><br />The answer, Sampath said, was in "the values an individual practises and being personally responsible for whatever initiatives or actions.''<br /><br />As a consultant, he said: "I do not make any promise to change your character, attitude or your zest for personal growth.''<br /><br />Scoffing at management consultants who promise positive changes to executives who attended their programmes, he said: "Change in any individual has to come from within. Don't invite me for any training of employees if you want me to make the change for them.''<br /><br />Sampath said that he could only provide guidance on why the individual should make changes. "Please don't ask me for prescriptions on increasing your bottomline (profits). It's only the individual who can gain greater control of his or her life, which will later contribute to better profits."<br /><br />In Sampath's direct approach, he reminds friends like me to stop fault finding with others: "If only I can find fault with myself the way I find fault with others, nobody can stop my growth and I control my anger.''<br /><br /> 5<br />ANGER STARTS WITH YOU<br /><br />Anger starts and ends with you. Only you can control your mood swings. But, how can I control my anger when another person annoys me?<br /><br />Yes! Anger can be triggered in a traffic jam, provocative conflict situations, domestic violence, nagging, child abuse, hate, jealousy etc.<br /><br />Anger cannot harm me. Anger can do more damage than good for me and deplete my energy. As I fear anger may weaken me, I have decided I must change my angry behaviour.<br /><br />Anger is like electricity. It is powerful and useful but only if it is used intelligently. If we abuse our anger and do and say things it can change our lives completely. So, we must learn to stop ourselves from acting in a moment of madness.<br /><br />If your house is on fire, the most urgent thing to do is go back and try to put out the fire, not to run after the person you believe to be the arsonist.<br /><br /> If you run after the person you suspect has burned your house, your house will burn down while you are chasing him or her. That is not wise. You must go back and put out the fire. <br /><br />So when you are angry, if you continue to interact with or argue with the other person, if you try to punish her, you are acting exactly like someone who runs after the arsonist while everything goes up in flames.<br /><br />Anger is seemingly an uncontrollable “fire” in the mind, anger destroys relationships; careers; health and inner peace.<br /><br /> By controlling anger you will be able to be more level-headed, make better decisions and maintain more self-control. Guard your health by reducing the risks of blood pressure, cardiovascular disease and other stress-related illnesses like diabetes….Minus anger, you will have better relationships with others go for the knockout and win the fight against anger. So, cultivate unconditional love in the heart to eliminate anger.<br /><br /> Nobody can live happily with anger.<br /><br />SOME POINTERS TO OVERCOME ANGER<br /><br />· Never argue with angry people.<br />· You won't be persuasive, and you're likely to get angry yourself.<br />· Don't interrupt. Let the eruption run its course.<br />· Summarize what the person is saying, whether you agree or not.<br />· Stay loose. Listen.<br />· If the scene gets nasty, end it. Draw the line and walk away.<br /> <br />6<br />ACCEPT YOU’RE ANGRY<br /><br />A Vietnamese monk living in France, once said to his students: “Embrace your anger with a lot of tenderness. Your anger is not your enemy; your anger is your baby. It’s like your stomach or your lungs.<br /><br /> Every time you have some trouble in your lungs or stomach, you don’t think of throwing them away. The same is true with your anger. You accept your anger because you know you can take care of it; only you can transform it into positive energy.”<br /><br />Say mentally to yourself: “My dear anger, I know you are there, I am taking good care of you.” The second phase is to look deeply into the nature of your anger to see how it has to come about.<br /><br />Some tips on controlling anger:<br /><br />· When angry withdraw from the place<br />· Cool your emotion.<br />· Drink a glass of cold water and sit quietly in a place.<br />· Take a brisk walk for a mile to get over your anger.<br />· Stand before a mirror and look at your face.<br /><br />In Terry Winchester's book Only Your Thoughts Can Upset You, he says: "You may be told that you should express your anger by beating up your pillow. That is all every well, as far as releasing the pent-up tension is concern, but it is not going to cure it. It is also a mistake to learn how to manage your anger because, again, you are only giving it credence and implying that it is okay to live with your ego’s judgement. It is also rather pointless taking tranquillisers, because that would just mask the condition and take away the opportunity to heal yourself. “<br /><br />“The answer is to take full responsibility for your outburst. It is not due to some outside condition or another person’s wrong doing. It is due to the frustrated expectation. As soon as you blame anything or anyone for your situation you give away your power and alienate yourself from those around you. “<br /><br />“You are now powerless because they did this thing to you. In fact. they didn’t do anything to you. They just did what they did. They cried out for help and you beat them up! Your cry for love clashed with theirs and you both ended up battered and bruised, if not physically, at least emotionally.”<br /><br />7<br />JOY OF FORGIVENESS<br /><br />What happens when you don’t forgive and carry that anger with you?<br /><br />Medical doctors and psychiatrists will tell on you: "If you harbour anger, hatred, jealousy and animosity, it will burn inside you and you are likely to have heartburn, indigestion and high blood pressure."<br /><br />What happens when you forgive and forget?<br />Meditation and yoga gurus will tell you: “It will bring you joy and you will feel light hearted because you don’t carry a heavy burden in your mind. Forgive with love in your heart. Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit."<br /><br />For a moment reflect on what we do everyday. We bathe, clean ourselves and put on new clothes daily. Shouldn’t we do the same for our mind by cleansing negative thoughts. When you get rid negative of negative thoughts you will create more room for positive thoughts.<br /><br />There is no greater wealth than a free mind, free of anger, jealously, greed and other negative thought. Anger is like electricity, just as powerful, provided it was properly used<br /><br />Prisons are full of those who acted in anger.<br />Ways To Deal With Anger<br /><br />· Count 1-10<br />· Calm Breathing<br />· Talk it out<br />· Write it out<br />· Pounding a pillow<br />· Punch bag<br />· Physical exercise<br />· Physical game<br />· Cold shower<br />· Check you trigger Thoughts<br />· Take Time Out<br /><br />8<br />ANGER BEGINS AND ENDS WITH YOU<br /><br />Managing anger is important as it begins and ends with ourselves. We may feel that we are mad at our wife, son or daughter, but really we are the direct objects of our own anger.<br /><br />Robert Kiyosaki, (pix idea) the 60 year old personal finance guru made millions through his “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” book series and for more than 15 years has been holding lucrative seminars around the world.<br /><br />Lessons he learned from both success and bankruptcy in that field inspired him to become a “business educator” – and sowed the seeds for his 1997 breakout book “Rich Dad, Poor Dad,” a biographical account of learning about money from his “poor” father and a “rich” neighbour.<br /><br />When asked by the Asian Wall Street Journal, How do you keep personal problem separate from work?<br /><br />He responded: “Both my wife and I have a therapist – our rule is, if we are upset of each other for more that 45 minutes, then I go see my counselor, a sort of emotional coach to help get me through my anger. I don’t think I’d be as successfully married if I didn’t have someone I could go talk to.”<br /><br />When asked, if you could remember any mistake, and change it, what would it be?<br /><br />“I wouldn’t change too much in my life. Not that I haven’t made many mistakes, it’s just that every mistake was valuable. The biggest, most humiliating experience was (my bankruptcy)…it was really tough to look at what was working and what was not working in my life,” Kiyosaki replied.<br /><br />Obviously, he contemplated, and went within himself to relearn his mistakes. <br />Even Gautama Buddha in his great moment of meditation discovered the eight right-fold path in Buddhism<br /><br />It was under the bodhi tree in India 25 centuries ago that Buddha (pix idea) through his insight realized the three states of the mind were the source of all our unhappiness: wrong knowing, obsessive desire and anger. <br /><br />All are difficult, but in one instant of anger – one of the most powerful emotions – lives can be ruined, and health and spiritual development can be destroyed.<br /><br /><br /><br />WHAT HAPPENS TO AN ANGRY PERSON?<br /><br />· Forgets the lessons of wisdom he has learnt<br />· Then, loses control over his thoughts and emotions<br />· Becomes overactive with highly charged ego<br />· Loses power discrimination, sense of proportion and becomes aggressive and hostile<br />· When anger becomes second nature physical, health, sense of mental balance and inner peace vanishes<br /><br />9<br />BEING A SLAVE TO ANGER<br /><br />Getting angry is like being a slave to a slave. Do you want to be a slave to your anger? Then the ego that may make you angry will become the master and control you.<br /><br />Slavery was abolished long ago. No leaders abolished anger. Some people turn to spirituality or religion to control their anger and find solace in it. Others read books and forget it the next day.<br /><br />While there are others who attend courses and forget two days later. Inner happiness, which is the antidote to anger, can only be found within oneself in you. Patience, compassion and love for others suffering will help people in understanding anger better.<br /><br />When a person gets angry we say that he has lost his balance. The moment we begin to respect others as well as ourselves than we will be able to put into practice "Treat others as how you would like to be treated."<br /><br />Many spiritual leaders and psychologists say that the root cause is the "ego".<br /><br />The very wrong view of ourselves that we are right and the other person is wrong can make us angry.<br /><br />When I face a problem, I try to see the brighter side of it.<br /><br />Anger is also triggered when I exaggerate our difficulties. When this happens I will be sowing the seeds for anger to grow in me.<br /><br />“Thinking of the mistakes of someone else, you can become angry. To face and resist a bad man you have to become even worse than him. So, be careful in pointing out the mistakes of others. If you point out the mistakes of others with one finger, three fingers point towards you.”<br /><br /><br />STATEMENTS THAT PROVOKE ANGER<br /><br />· “Stop talking about my family<br />· “Why are you shouting at the children<br />· “Money! Money! Money! We are always fighting about money<br />· “I want you to do it my and not your way?<br />· ·“Stop picking on me<br />· “I am not at fault<br />· “I am right, you are wrong<br />· “I am sick and tired of you of your nagging<br /> <br /><br />10<br />TREAT OTHERS LIKE HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO TREATED<br /><br />The President of a leading nation stood before a Press Conference. While he was talking the reporters they noticed scratches around his neck above his collar.<br /><br />Soon after the press conference, the reporters asked the press secretary what caused the bruises around his neck. The press secretary replied the bruises occurred while shaving hurriedly to attend the press conference.<br /><br />It was a noticeable series of vivid red crawled-like wound on his neck and face. The scratches were among unexplained cuts and bruises he had over the cause of his turbulent marriage.<br /><br />Later as the reporters investigated further with the Presiden’s office and security personnel, they were told that the First Lady had clawed him because he was seen with another women previous night.<br /><br />This is a case of how the President’s wife vented her anger because she lost her ‘cool’ and decided to physically hurt her husband.<br /><br />According to the Presidential staff, screaming, shouting, slamming doors were a norm for The First Lady,<br /><br />It was unfortunate the President had to take the brawl of his wife’s fury.<br /><br />What has caused all this?<br /><br />Anger. This could be one of the main reason the physical hurt and mental agony he had to live with.<br /><br />What provoke her to scratch or claw her husband is a case of she feeling insecure and the husband being unfaithful.<br /><br />It is ironical for one of the most powerful leaders in the world to be beaten up by his wife!<br /><br />It is even more surprising the couple in their early fifties had lived through hair – trigger tempers for more than 20 years.<br /><br />The sources of this ultimate suffering was because both parties were stuck to their point of views and life style and never wanted to admit their mistakes, faults and weaknesses.<br /><br />Why do people carry the pain of differences for so long?<br /><br />What makes relationship work?<br /><br />· Operate from the ‘higher self’<br />· Operate from commitment and not complaint<br />· Lett your identity not depend on others<br />· Don’t settle scores with others<br />· Create a bliss body and not a hurt body<br />· Learn to expand others’ comfort zones and not increase discomfort zone<br />· Learn to convert a sexual act into a prayerful act<br />· Create a learning and rejoicing family<br />· Learn to be a good finder and not a fault-finder<br />· Present your point of view and not ‘poke’ your point of view<br />· Focus on togetherness and not difference.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />11<br />FACE THE MIRROR WHEN ANGRY<br /><br />The next time you get angry look at your face in the mirror. Can you imagine how you would look? You can be rest assured you are not the most beautiful person when you get angry because the cells and muscles on our face become tense and you are not presentable. Your face is like a bomb that is about to explode.<br /><br />Try and objectively observe another person when he she or gets angry. When you see yourself all tensed up, you have a choice to change your character of getting angry or not getting worked up by anger.<br /><br />Generally, people get angry for a variety of reasons. Let’s see cases of divorce, decision and destruction. A wife gets angry with the unfaithful husband and it results in a divorce. A multi millionaire husband gets angry in a board meeting, makes a wrong decision and losses a fortune. Their son gets angry with his sister and breaks her toys.<br /><br />Every action ends up in a negative behaviour and the children have learned how to be angry like their parents. Anger can be experienced several different ways. You can feel angry with yourself for not having done well in the examination, or you can get angry with someone else or an object like your slippers, which made you fall down.<br /><br />Whether you trip over a carpet or get angry with the shopkeeper, spouse or boyfriend it is anger caused by external circumstances or interaction with another person. Internal anger is directed at yourself for something that you have done yourself and blame yourself for causing it.<br /><br />Anger is one of the most destructive emotions prevalent among human beings. When a person is in a state of anger or rage, he or she can unleash behaviour that can be aggressive or violent, and it is this that leads to destruction.<br /><br /><br />THINK OF IT…<br />Unchecked anger corrodes relationships.Some people have short fuses and explode at the slightest provocation.Others try to bottle up their rage, usually without success. Angry people often use anger to cover up or avoid a threat, a manager's long-term strategy must be to identify the threat.<br /><br />12<br />WRITE YOUR ANGER AWAY<br />One way to overcome anger is to write a journal. This is done with the INTENTION of finding a solution for the problem and COMMITTING yourself to finding it. It’s no use keeping an anger journal for five years and keep getting angry.<br /><br />Here are three powerful emotions at work in a work place:<br />Anger: Unchecked anger corrodes relationships. Some people have short fusesand explode at the slightest provocation. <br /><br />Others try to bottle up their rage, usually without success. <br /><br />Because angry people often use anger to cover up or avoid a threat, a manager's long-term strategy must be to identify the threat. <br /><br />For some, it might be a wave of technological change that has left them ill equipped to compete. Among the 40-somethings, the threat might be the fear that their career has peaked.<br /><br /> 13<br />MANAGE ANGER : GO WITHIN<br /><br />By choosing to manage your anger, you will be able to observe mindfully the painful circumstances that make you angry, and make an effort to change. As only you can observe the changes within your mind’s eye, your personal effort can help in altering anger (negative energy) to being happy (positive energy).<br /><br />Yes! You must self realise that you have a choice to get angry, and only you can decide for yourself and not anyone else. So, if I lose my cool I get angry. Your choice to get angry or not puts the responsibility for emotions squarely on your own shoulders. That means I don’t have to be a prisoner and be a slave to my emotions.<br /><br />Getting angry is like being a slave to a slave. Do you want to be a slave to your anger? Then the ego that may make you angry will become the master and control you.<br /><br />Slavery, which was abolished long ago, is bad enough. That is why it is incorrect to feel angry towards another person. Some people turn to spirituality or religion to control their anger and find solace in it. Others read books and forget it the next day. <br /><br />While there are others who attend courses and forget two days later. Inner happiness, which is the antidote to anger, can only be found within oneself. Patience, compassion and love for others suffering will help people in understanding anger better.<br /><br />14<br />WATCH YOUR EGO<br /><br /><br />Many spiritual leaders and psychologists say that the root cause of anger is our "ego".<br /><br />Ego, is very wrong view of ourselves that we are right and the other person is wrong.<br /><br />When we face a problem, we must try to see the brighter side of it. Anger is also triggered when we exaggerate our difficulties. When this happens we will be sowing the seeds for anger to grow in us.<br /><br />For us to live happily with our family spouse or with our colleagues, we must ask ourselves, “do I really want to quit anger?”<br />If I want to quit anger, I must make an agreement with myself that I will do whatever possible not to make me angry.<br /><br />· Refrain from saying or doing anything that may cause harm. Respect the other person’s feelings, not ridicule him/her.<br />· Not suppress my anger, but seek a solution.<br />· Allow enough time for the other person to cool down<br />· Communicate wisely and calmly with the person who has made me angry.<br />· Practice mindful breathing.<br />· Contemplate deeply while sitting, walking, lying down or when mind is idle why you go angry.<br />· Apologise immediately, if necessary.<br /><br /> 15<br />ANGER: I HAVE A CHOICE<br /><br />By making anger management a matter of choice, you are reaffirming to yourself: “I may not be stable in the way I think and the way I control my emotions, and it is my choice to be a better person minus my anger.”<br /><br />Will changing your environment be helpful and only you can decide that by internally sifting or making the choices through your emotional options?<br /><br /> One of the most difficult tasks in overcoming anger is telling yourself or getting rid of your ego: “I am right and the other person is wrong.” If you start with this premise it is not going to help you.<br /><br />The choices involving quitting anger can be a challenge and it is a difficult one. To let go of the ego is another great challenge. It is the choice we have to make. There are times when you are convinced that you are right but the ego in you haunts you and you do not want to give up, and this may make you angrier.<br /><br />Quitting your anger means you accept responsibility to drop it. It comes with a price of being patient, tolerant and forgiving others. Letting go your ego and understanding the differences you have with another person is crucial in dropping any angry behaviour.<br /><br />LET GO EGO<br /><br />In the case of the daughter and mother/or father who often shout at each other. The daughter resolves within herself to forgive the mother/or father and says to herself: “This angry behaviour of mine cannot go on, and only I will suffer emotionally. I realise if I do not drop anger, I will grow up into an angry person when I grow older.”<br /><br />In the case of an employee who keeps griping about the bosses and the company decides: “I will lose out on my promotions and bonuses if I fight the management and the best thing to do for my career development is to work along with my bosses.” So the employee will do his best work in spite of his differences with his boss.<br /><br /> 16<br />STOP TALKING, START LISTENING<br /><br />We know that many people suffer, feeling that no one is able to understand them or their situation. Everyone is too busy and no one seems to have the capacity to listen. But all of us need someone who can listen to us.<br /><br />Deep listening, compassionate listening is not listening with the purpose of anlaysing or even uncovering what has happened in the past. You listen first of all in order to give other person relief, a chance to speak out, to feel that someone finally understands him.<br /><br />Compassion is the antidote for anger and bitterness. If you keep compassion in you while listening, then anger and irritation cannot arise. Otherwise the things he says, the things she says will touch off your irritation, anger and suffering. Compassion alone can protect your from becoming angry or full of despair.<br /><br />Confusion and ignorane make us think that we are the only ones who suffer. We believe that otherts do not suffer<br /> .....extract ANGER Thich Nhat Hanh, author of Living Buddha, Living Christ<br /> <br />· Demonstrate empathy: Your employee needs to know that you are concerned with his currents productivity problem and want to help resolve it. By approaching him with understanding, you will help him open up to you. He will also feel more optimistic about solving the problem if he knows that he has your support.<br />· Listen more than you talk: During a counselling session, it is important that you provide your staff member plenty of opportunities to express his feeling. Generally, you should do more listening than talking. He will appreciate talking to someone who is willing to listen to his situation.<br /><br />· Encourage listening: Everyone involved in the resolution of a conflict should listen to one an other in order to understand each other’s point of view and seasoning. Those involved will never be able to agree on a suitable resolution unless they are aware of and appreciate the other’s person’s viewpoint. Listening will also expedite the conflict resolution process and enable the employees involved to focus on developing a solution that is acceptable to everyone.<br /><br />· Identify common goals: One of the most effective ways to resolve a conflict is to identify common goals your employees share. When they see that their efforts are directed towards achieving the same goal, it will be easier to motivate them towards reaching a mutually beneficial solution.<br /><br />17<br />HEART RATE AND BLOOD PRESSURE<br /><br />I have to ask myself: “Do I want to reach a stage of anger when I cannot control myself and resort to crime.”<br /><br /> If this happens, only I become the loser. And, anger can occur anywhere: at home, work, football game, public places, college and even in a place of worship where people are expected to be calm and relaxed.<br /><br />Anger at any of these places occurred when man lost control of his mind and has even resorted to killing each other.<br /><br />Anger takes place because people are not aware of themselves when they get angry. So, how does a person become aware that anger is swelling up in his mind. One way to correct ourselves is to watch others when they get and not ridicule them, but to remind ourselves that is how I will look and get emotionally disturbed when I get angry.<br /><br />Let’s examine what is anger as we learn to drop the habit of getting angry. Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger.<br /><br />Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones like adrenaline.<br /><br /><br />ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES Some simple steps you can try:Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut." Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply. Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination. Non strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.<br />Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.<br /><br />EVIL EFFECTS OF ANGER<br /><br />· Forgets the lessons of wisdom he has learnt in life.<br />· Loses control over his thoughts and emotions.<br />· Becomes overactive, with his highly charged ego as his only guide.<br />· Loses his power of discrimination, sense of proportion and inner peace vanishes.<br />· Anger can destroy friendship, families, business partnership, professional prospects.<br />· Communal and ethnic riots, arsons, wars, suicide, murder and many other forms of crimes are basically products of anger.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />18<br />BETTER COMMUNICATION<br /><br />The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses.<br /><br />Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, instead slow down and think carefully about what you want to say.<br /><br />At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.<br /><br />"It's because of lack of introspection - never spending time alone to reflect - and the absence of communication channels with those nearest to us; no quality time spent on learning to communicate with each other," says Prabhu Dina, who also teaches meditation.Often courting couples spend a lot of time communicating privately and writing letters - but once they marry, all intimate communication stops - no time, they say - and tempers flare over the smallest issue.Healthy communication reduces this problem.<br /><br />Using humour, can also help to defuse anger as humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense or stressful situation.<br /><br />LEARN TO MANAGE STRESS<br /><br />· Stress is no good. You cannot stay focused. Meet deadlines. Face new challenges.<br />· Stress is single largest silent killer of this millennium.<br />· Stress is counter-productive.<br />· Stress can damage sleeplessness.<br />· Stress can make you lose you concentration.<br />· Stress can lead to high-blood pressure, heart disease, arthritis, depression and more chronic diseases.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /> <br /><br />19<br />MY MISSION STATEMENT<br /><br /><br />I must wake up to the dawn of day<br />Say Thank You Lord for giving me another Great day<br />To help myself, family, friends and strangers.<br /><br />When I wake up at the dawn of day<br />I must not forget to meditate, jog my mind with good thoughts,<br />And exercise my body and mind to perform good deeds for the day.<br /><br />As I do my yoga stretching and bathing my cells<br />With a flush of blood nourishing every cell in my body,<br />I must for a moment ponder for peace for the rest of the world.<br /><br />Like the cells in my body, may the people around the world<br />Start their day with noble thoughts and proactive initiatives<br />Wanting to help everyone they come into contact with.<br /><br />So Lord, hold me by my hand and lead me through this land<br />Loving, caring and serving everyone I come in contact with<br />To see, do and get what will bring them happiness.<br /><br />And, if I do falter, please halt<br />My wrong thoughts, actions and ego<br />To stop me from hurting anyone’s feeling.<br /><br />From dawn to dusk, every step or movement or action<br />I must self-improve my conduct and character, and<br />Help and guide others to do the same without hurting their feelings.<br /><br />This is my humble mission in life<br />To live, learn, love and leave a legacy<br />As I interact with my family, friends and colleagues daily.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />20<br />108 WAYS TO COOL DOWN<br /><br />ANGER : BEAT IT!!!<br /><br />108 ways to tame you… Let’s do it<br /><br />· Keep smiling, speak softly, lovingly and calmly<br />· Say to yourself: “I choose not to get angry ”because anger will only destroy meaningful relationships with family members, friends and colleagues<br />· Let go of bad feelings and recall good feelings<br />· Look at your facial expression in the mirror when you get angry and practise silence<br />· When you notice anger on the rise within you, move away<br />· When you become angry, take 3 deep breaths and take charge of yourself<br />· Withdraw yourself from the moment of anger<br />· Cool off: “Just as long as I keep my cool I’m in control”<br />· Stay calm and relaxed: Don’t let his /her opinion affect you<br />· Do not stay near the person who has angered you and don’t dwell on past anger provoking problems<br />· Remember! Getting upset won’t help, so avoid situations that make you angry<br />· There’s nothing to be gained in getting angry as it is a normal human emotion, but it has to be controlled in order for us to lead a happy life<br />· Psyche yourself: “I’m not going to let him/her get me”<br />· Say what you want to say without anger<br />· Stay rational and calm: Anger won’t solve anything, neither will sarcasm<br />· Understand that people have different views<br />· Listen attentively. Hear what a person is really trying to say and respond positively<br />· Ask yourself why you want to get angry: locate the source of anger<br />· Tranquility and peace can only be found in the heart and not else where<br />· Avoid confrontation: Anger, guilt and hurt feelings escalate if you are thinking of taking revenge<br />· Think of ways to diffuse anger because anger creates toxins in the blood and this is not good for health .So try using humor to diffuse anger.<br />· Apologize or say “sorry,” if it’s your mistake, especially if you have done something wrong<br />· Admit ignorance if you are not conversant in the subject<br />· Never be afraid to admit what you don’t know<br />· Try to help and explain from your inner experience<br />· Don’t assume the person is insincere or challenge him if he says something to make you angry<br />· Make life-long friends through sincere relationships<br />· Be open-minded and respond with a smile if a person is confrontational<br />· Interact in a friendly manner and avoid being shy<br />· Respect another person’s approach to his or her cultural or religious beliefs<br />· Exercise your power of discrimination on why you should get angry<br />· Focus on your feelings and ask yourself “How can anger hurt you?”<br />· Try to understand the feelings of the other person before saying anything to him or her<br />· Develop an attitude of getting along with people<br />· Avoid misunderstandings as they may lead to conflict<br />· Grow an antenna not horns<br />· Replace defensive behavior: admit it, we are all different and have our own differences. So, try to see things from another person’s point of view<br />· Anger can be eliminated through love and your forgiveness<br />· Be cool, relaxed and be in control of yourself<br />· If you harbor anger, it can result in bad thoughts. Therefore, think before you act or say something<br />· Avoid arguing as it is a waste of time<br />· Try not to be emotional as it does not help<br />· Stop arguing about who is right. I argue because I think you are wrong.<br />· When my observation is wrong my interpretations is wrong and therefore I will conclude wrongly.<br />· Be assertive<br />· Withdraw-exit response-Count 1-10<br />· Yeah! Pound a pillow or punch a bag<br />· Take 5: Exercise, play a game, take a cold shower or drink cold water<br />· Take time out when the other person gets angry<br />· Check what triggers anger thoughts so that you will be able to control it next time you get angry<br />· Do not crave for recognition and respect from others<br />· A sound body ensures a sound mind, so eat right and stay healthy<br />· Good feelings play a vital role in eliminating anger<br />· Try forgiving others who have hurt you<br />· Do not seek to discover the evil in others<br />· Do not succumb to your senses that provokes anger<br />· Do not be petty and take failure coolly<br />· Treat others like how you wish to be treated<br />· When anger gets you, go for a brisk walk<br />· Don’t carry any grudges in your mind<br />· Never be rigid in your thinking<br />· Stop challenging and arguing with another person’s point of view<br />· Learn how to manage anger<br />· Express anger feelings to a friend to get angry feelings off your chest. Consult a psychologist, psychiatrist or counselor of anger begins to bother you<br />· Speak to a colleague or counselor<br />· Don’t bottle up your anger and keep those feelings inside<br />· Expressing angry feelings is a lot easier if we trust someone<br />· Avoid the person who you are angry with when anger gets you<br />· Do not horn at traffic jams to make others angry<br />· Trust your feelings and let your feelings out<br />· Stop nagging, sulking or snapping at friends<br />· Stop worrying or brooding on personal problems<br />· Get rid of bad memories that trigger angry feelings<br />· Don’t criticize anything or make cynical comments<br />· Let angry feelings subside before you respond to an angry person<br />· Reduce emotional feelings and avoid people that enrage<br />· Control your responses and reactions<br />· Don’t curse, throw things or hurt anyone<br />· Expect the unexpected to minimize frustration if demands aren’t met as disappointments can swell up angry feelings<br />· Develop strategies to fight anger<br />· Don’t humiliate people<br />· Remind yourself people are not out there to get you, even if they want to<br />· Don’t demand for things the way you want it; fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness etc<br />· Believe in yourself that every problem has a solution: focus on finding the solution<br />· Listen attentively to what the other person is saying<br />· Take your time before answering<br />· Call and speak to someone when you get angry<br />· Imagine, draw a picture or illustrations of the sequence of you getting angry. Keep updating your journal of angry moments and what provoked your anger, and how you overcome it<br />· Don’t look at what infuriates you<br />· Find alternatives if anger frustrates you when you drive<br />· Treat all equally regardless of caste or creed: recognize the brotherhood and sisters<br />· Curb envy and jealousy: Help ever hurt never<br />· Pray to be a cool person: look for the good in others<br />· Read widely to expand your knowledge to help yourself self improve in anger management<br /><br />NOTE: If you get angry often and if most of these tips do not work for you focus on yourself and see the trend/pattern of your anger. This method of self introspection may help you to discover the roots of your anger.<br /><br /><br />21<br />ANGER COMES IN A SPLIT SECOND<br /><br />Anger is a huge part of Dina Das life. In his teens he punched a hole in his sister’s room door and it still reminds him of his violent days. Now, at 46, he has made a career out of anger. He lectures on anger management, which he does for free because it is “pay back time” to convert angry people to peace-loving people.<br /><br />“There is that split second between getting angry and remaining composed,” says Dina, a personality development speaker.<br /><br />“It only takes a split second to get angry, and that same split second can be used to avert anger. If anger is not checked, there could be more accidents on road and fatal road rage incidents.<br /><br />“If the angry person can make that split second last for two seconds by taking a deep breath, he can conquer anger,” says Dina who also motivates children through human values courses.<br /><br />“Some sure signs of anger are nostrils flaring, breathing changes and increase in heart beat. Practise the opposite to be cool-headed – make a vow while you are calm, to be silent every time you detect anger beginning to surge in you.<br /><br />“Take a deep breath, and in two seconds ask yourself what the consequences would be if you raise your voice, get angry or offend someone else. Generally, no good at all ever comes out of words spoken in a rage.”<br /><br />He says that the only consequence of words spoken in a fit of anger is permanent damage to the relationship with that person because of the hurt and humiliation caused.<br /><br />“Anger’s not a problem once you take precautions not to hurt others because of your rage. When you are angry – shut up, and move away.”<br />The secret, he says, is to never speak while one is overcome by anger or uncontrolled emotions.<br />“Excuse yourself humbly. Then ask yourself why you are getting angry. Get to the real root of what is troubling you and work that out.”<br />Some psychologists say that it is our own faults that we subconsciously see reflected in others, which makes us spontaneously dislike them.<br />Why are we sometimes so patient with our colleagues at work, yet are so short-tempered with family members at home?<br />“It’s because of lack of introspection – never spending time alone to reflect – and the absence of communication channels with those nearest to us; no quality time spent on learning to communicate with each other,” says Dina, who also teaches meditation.<br />Often courting couples spend a lot of time communicating privately and writing letters – but once they marry, all intimate communication stops – no time, they say – and tempers flare over the smallest issues.<br />Healthy communication reduces this problem.<br />When trying to resolve an issue with another person, Dina says staying cool prevents provocation and heated arguments. Subsequently, take steps within your power to solve the problem, and then wait for a response. “The ball, and possibly the whole game itself, is now in the other person’s court.”<br />He says that keeping quiet would also pacify the other person. “It takes two hands to clap.<br />“However, if the other person continues to be an irritant, take another deep breath and psyche yourself not to get angry, and leave the scene. Consider taking a long walk or a cold bath or doing some gardening.”<br />Dina adds that turning one’s weakness into a strength by not allowing fits of anger is the key to being peaceful with oneself.<br /><br />Actor Russell Crowe was arrested in June 2005 for allegedly throwing a telephone at an employee of a hotel in New York. It only takes a split second to get angry, and that same split second can be used to avert anger.<br /> ‘Never speak when one is overcome by anger or uncontrolled emotions.’<br />Anger need not ruin your life. All it takes is two seconds to think before you act<br /><br /><br />Tell-tale signs<br /><br />Anger can also occur in abusive situations. Young people and even adults need to know how to identify whether a prospective boyfriend or girlfriend could become angry and abusive. Some questions to ask might include: Does the person seem too good to be true? Come from a violent family? Get angry and throw things? Have a criminal record? Abuse drugs and alcohol? Hate their mother or father? Was he or she abusive in previous relationships?<br /><br /><br />You may be in an abusive relationship if your partner, and the following are some tell-tale signs:<br />· Gets extremely jealous or possessive.<br />· Accuses you of flirting or cheating.<br />· Constantly checks up on you or makes you check in.<br />· Tells you how to dress.<br />· Tries to control what you do or who you see.<br />· Tries to keep you from seeing or talking to friends or family.<br />· Has big mood swings, being angry and loud one minute and sweet and apologetic the next.<br />· Makes you feel nervous or like you’re walking on eggshells.<br />· Puts you down and makes you feel as if you can’t do anything right or that nobody else would want to be with you.<br />· Threatens to hurt you, your family or friends.<br />· Threatens to commit suicide or hurt himself or herself because of you.<br />· Threatens to hurt your pets or destroy your things.<br />· Yells, grabs, pushes, shoves, shakes, punches, slaps, holds you down, throws things or hurts you in any way.<br />· Breaks or throws things when you argue.<br />· Pressures or forces you to have sex or go further than you want to.<br />Source: LAT-WP<br /><br /><br />“From anger, comes delusion; from delusion loss of memory; from loss of memory the destruction of discrimination; from destruction of discrimination he perishes.”<br />--Bhagawad Gita<br /><br /><br />Anger the main cause of murder<br /><br />Sub Head: Arguments often lead to killing<br />ARGUMENTS that get out of control – that is the main factor leading to murder in Malaysia, said Internal Security Ministry parliamentary secretary Datuk Abu Seman Yusop.<br />The lack of control during arguments between friends, couples, parents and children, and motorists is the number one cause of killings.<br />“It always begins as an argument. Then, many end up as murder because the parties concerned lose their temper.<br />“So remember to control your emotions and temper. Think of the consequences in not doing so.<br />“Count to three if you must, but please control yourself,” he said, adding that there had been 20 murder cases resulting from arguments in the first two months of the year.<br />Other instances of murder were connected to robbery, revenge, jealousy, insanity and rape, he told a press conference at the Parliament lobby.<br />However, Abu Seman said there was a drop in the number of murder cases reported in the country, compared with the first two months of last year.<br />There were 102 cases in 2004 and 76 this year.<br />“This shows a difference of 26 cases or a 25.4% drop.<br />“So although the public may perceive that the police haven’t got the situation under control, the data shows that the police are doing their job.<br />“Everything is under control. Our country is still safe and tourists need not fear or be wary,” he said.<br />Earlier, Abu Seman, replying to Lim Hock Seng (DAP – Bagan), said murder suspects were mainly locals.<br />The ratio between locals and foreigners who were murder suspects, recorded in January and February this year, was 67 to 43, he said.<br />On April 3, 2005, Singaporeans were reminded of their seven deadly sins when they opened The Sunday Times in the morning. Guess what topped the list…ANGER. The others were: lust; sloth; pride; gluttony; greed; and envy.<br /><br />Off all the sins, lust is the one that Singaporeans commit least often, an SPH survey revealed. The article said: “Singaporeans are angry and greedy, and whe it comes to lust, well it’s just too much effort.”<br />“Losing your temper can often he an embarrassing experience. Lose it in public and you’ll get curious stares. Have an outburst at home and it’ll set the neighbours talking.”<br />“Anger is above all others, the emotion most people are expected to bottle up.”<br /> </div>m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-25234581348920947562009-08-29T21:15:00.000-07:002009-08-29T21:19:43.744-07:00ONE MALAYSIA SONGCLICK LINK<br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chHjU6du01o">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chHjU6du01o</a><br /><br />Saturday August 29, 2009/METRO<br />A song for Merdeka<br />“LIVING in Harmony” is the theme of a 1Malaysia song composed and sung by teenagers.<br />The students said their song was aimed at fostering unity, love, peace and harmony to commemorate the birth of our nation 52 years ago.<br />The soundtrack’s lyrics focus on “One Voice, One Nation, One Malaysia” and “We love Malaysia” just as the first Prime Minister, Tunku Abdul Rahman, had envisioned.<br />Twin sisters K. Rashmika and K. Raanita, 14, and music major V. Vishal, 18, are the trio behind the song.<br />They had missed the deadline and opportunity to participate in the One Malaysia song competition organised by RTM and Astro, and this, they said, had made them even more determined to complete the song for National Day.<br />“Music is a window to the heart and soul of a person. This song, especially when sung by us teenagers, is bound to strike a chord in the hearts of Malaysians,” said the trio, who support Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak’s 1Malaysia concept.<br />Showing their love for Malaysia through song: (From left) Rashmika, Vishal and Raanita are firm believers in the 1Malaysia concept.<br />“It was Mika and Nita who first told me about the song title – One Malaysia – and asked me for help on the lyrics written by their dad.<br />“We got together and made changes to the lyrics, improving them in the way we thought would make them appeal most to the younger generation of Malaysians,” said Vishal, who composed the song.<br />“I thought it would be good for Mika, Nita and me to sing about our lovely country this Merdeka and express our views, say how we live as Malaysians and love Malaysia,” Vishal added.<br />Rashmika said music could bring the people together and the 1Malaysia could unite them.<br />“When I first read about the Prime Minister’s idea of 1Malaysia in the newspapers, I thought he was right to bring all the races together.<br />“I felt that a change was needed for our future, and we, as part of the younger generation, needed to make this happen. The future of our nation is in our hands as the children of Malaysia,” she said.<br />The trio practised singing the song together for about a month, she added.<br />“As Malaysians, we are one big family and we must learn to respect each other. If we can live in peace and harmony, then Malaysia will be a great nation.<br />“It is time that every one started singing songs of unity and being proud to be Malaysians. Singing the songs with inspire us to work towards bringing the various races closer to one another,” Raanita said, adding that she was grateful for the opportunity to sing the song with Vishal and Mika.<br />The trio want to spread their message to fellow Malaysians.<br />“We plan to give it to Astro, RTM, Media Prima and radio stations to spread the word on unity, peace and harmony among Malaysians.<br />“We hope the radio and television stations air our song,” they said.m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-33339071358102791832008-05-03T00:39:00.000-07:002008-05-03T00:49:11.418-07:00Chapter 9HEART RATE AND BLOOD PRESSURE<br /><br />When I cannot control myself anger takes over my mindset. Only I become the loser. Anger has no boundary, and it can anywhere: home, work, football game, public places, college and even in a place of worship where people are expected to be calm and relaxed.<br /><br />Why did anger occur? It took place because I was not aware of myself. So, how does a person become aware that anger is brewing in his mind. One way to correct ourselves is to watch others when they get and not ridicule them, but to remind ourselves that is how I will look and get emotionally disturbed when I get angry.<br /><br />Some of us attend all the courses on improving our behaviour and will never improve ourselves because we have not tackled our anger problems. I know lecturers and teachers of good parenting also getting angry. Good parenting can only be realised if we can control our own state of anger.<br /><br /> Let’s examine what is anger as we learn to drop the habit of getting angry. Anger is "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage," according to Charles Spielberger, PhD, a psychologist who specializes in the study of anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and adrenaline.<br /><br />ANGER MANAGEMENT<br /><br />Some simple steps you can try:Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut." Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply. Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination. Non strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer. Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.<br /><br />BETTER COMMUNICATION<br /><br /> The first thing to do if you're in a heated discussion is slow down and think through your responses. Don't say the first thing that comes into your head, but slow down and think carefully about what you want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.<br />"It's because of lack of introspection - never spending time alone to reflect - and the absence of communication channels with those nearest to us; no quality time spent on learning to communicate with each other," says Dina, who also teaches meditation.Often courting couples spend a lot of time communicating privately and writing letters - but once they marry, all intimate communication stops - no time, they say - and tempers flare over the smallest issues.Healthy communication reduces this problem.<br />USING HUMOUR<br />"Silly humour" can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you get a more balanced perspective. When you get angry and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like.<br /><br />If you're at work and you think of a coworker as a "dirtbag" or a "single-cell life form," for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague's desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings.<br /> Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person. If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your fury; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation. In combing through the pages, I came across a short story written by an American called Omer Washington.m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-60472252606264594492008-05-03T00:30:00.000-07:002008-05-03T00:34:17.132-07:00Chapter 8Improvement comes from within<br /><br />Sometimes when I attend a course to improve myself, I wished my boss or my wife was with me listening to the lecturer.A close friend and management guru J.M. Sampath said such an attitude would not make any difference in the productivity or efficiency of the company or your personal life. He told me, I should ask myself: "Can I change or am I going to remain the same and blame others?''<br />"If you don't discover yourself through the process of self-inquiry, nobody else can do it for you.''<br />The answer, Sampath said, was in "the values an individual practises and being personally responsible for whatever initiatives or actions.''<br />As a consultant, he said: "I do not make any promise to change your character, attitude or your zest for personal growth.''<br />Scoffing at management consultants who promise positive changes to executives who attended their programmes, he said: "Change in any individual has to come from within. Don't invite me for any training of employees if you want me to make the change for them.''<br />I have watched many of my friends trying to make Sampath angry through their sensitive and provocative questions. He will always reply in cool and composed manner, smilingly.<br />The most successful people have many failures, because they persevered until they succeed. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes then and move on.<br /><br />According to Sampath: "Worrying about things that may never happen is a futile effort. Time spent worrying about the future is time stolen from the present. Write down your worries."<br />“If you get angry because someone has passed an irritating statement or you have done it to someone, then reflect upon the incident and what provoked it.”<br />I have tried making affirmation in my mind not to do it again. Like Sampath, I believe you can't change what you've said and what people have said to you. Make amends to say sorry or apologise sincerely and not do it again.<br />Sampath has been invited by companies like Ford, Du Pont in the United States and other leading companies around the world to conduct courses on values clarification.His personal growth formula through values clarification, or "the process of identifying the causes of these conflicts and unknotting pathways, thus realising the potential for change,'' has been accepted by multinational corporations.<br />Sampath said that he could only provide guidance on why the individual should make changes. "Please don't ask me for prescriptions on increasing your bottomline (profits). It's only the individual who can gain greater control of his or her life, which will later contribute to better profits."<br />"Western formulated prescriptions will never work in Malaysia because the solution has to be context based. Today's manager is applying knowledge mindlessly without understanding that the problem and fundamental change will only occur when we change the course of behaviour.Actually, we are trying to apply some other consultant's knowledge to solve the problem and we fail.''<br />He questioned how we could find out whether the fruit is sour or sweet without chewing it."The taste of the fruit is in your chewing. Somebody else cannot chew the fruit for you.''<br />Sampath denounced "quick fixes'' and "how to succeed'' formulas propagated by western management consultants. He said it may work in the short term, but not in the long term because the executive may not understand the problem.<br />In the process of gaining clarity on our values, we need to understand the critical gaps that exist at different levels in each of us, which are:<br />· What I want to do and who am I;<br />· Who am I and how people around experience me;<br />· How I am experienced by people around and what is expected out of me.<br />"Each of us is value based on what we do than on what we say. Our actions speak louder than our words. Daily, we see people telling something and doing something totally different. At home, the father tells the child to tell the caller that he is not in. The child gets confused on the practice of the human value of honesty.''<br />Sampath related the case of a boss demanding quality products and clearing inferior quality products for quick, short-term profits.There are no short cuts to understand the path of excellence. "An individual can only understand himself better through his behaviour and the values he practises.''<br />In his book, Discovery, accompanied with a dozen other pamphlets, he said: "Discovery is an instrument that can make you look deep within. A learner discovers different facets of the same value and in the process widens one's understanding of each value, value related attribute, quality or trait.''<br />In Sampath's direct approach, he reminds friends like me to stop fault finding with others: "If only I can find fault with myself the way I find fault with others, nobody can stop my growth.''m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-27422823120013562182008-04-20T04:37:00.001-07:002008-04-20T04:45:22.755-07:00If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. To become free of anger, one must learn how to forgive<br /><br />Baba said to Purandhare, `If anybody comes and abuses you or punishes you, do not quarrel with him. If you cannot endure it, speak a simpleword or two or else leave the place. But do not battle with him andgive tit for tat. I feel sick and disgusted when you quarrel with others."m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-50747056601594204862008-04-20T04:33:00.001-07:002014-11-16T08:04:08.642-08:00hurts<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. To become free of anger, one must learn how to forgive<br />
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Baba said to Purandhare, `If anybody comes and abuses you or punishes you, do not quarrel with him. If you cannot endure it, speak a simpleword or two or else leave the place. But do not battle with him andgive tit for tat. I feel sick and disgusted when you quarrel with others."</div>
m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-2513496363227429252008-04-20T04:26:00.000-07:002008-04-20T04:30:33.414-07:00steven coveyThe 90/10 Principle by Stephen Covey <br /><br />Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life. <br />What is the 90/10 Principle? <br />10% of life is made up of what happens to you. <br />90% of life is decided by how you react. <br /><br />What does this mean? <br />We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. <br />We cannot stop the car from breaking down. <br />The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. <br />A driver may cut us off in traffic. <br />We have no control over this 10%. <br /><br />The other 90% is different. <br />You determine the other 90%. <br />How? By your reaction. <br />You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. <br />Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react. <br />Let's use an example. <br />You are eating breakfast with your family. <br />Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. <br />You have no control over what just what happened. <br />What happens when the next will be determined by how you react. <br />You curse. <br />You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. <br />She breaks down in tears. <br />After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for <br />placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. <br />A short verbal battle follows. <br />You storm upstairs and change your shirt. <br />Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to<br />finish breakfast and get ready for school. <br />She misses the bus. <br />Your spouse must leave immediately for work. <br />You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. <br />Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. <br />After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at <br />school. <br />Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. <br />After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. <br />Your day has started terribly. <br />As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter. <br /><br />Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. <br />Why did you have a bad day? <br />A) Did the coffee cause it? <br />B) Did your daughter cause it? <br />C) Did the policeman cause it? <br />D) Did you cause it? <br />The answer is D. <br /><br />You had no control over what happened with the coffee. <br />How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. <br />Here is what could have and should have happened. <br />Coffee splashes over you. <br />Your daughter is about to cry. <br />You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time." <br />Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. <br />After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. <br />She turns and waves. <br />You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. <br />Your boss comments on how good the day you are having. <br /><br />Notice the difference? <br />Two different scenarios. <br />Both started the same. <br />Both ended different. <br />Why? Because of how you REACTED. <br /><br />You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. <br />The other 90% was determined by your reaction. <br />Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 principle. <br />If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. <br />Let the attack roll off like water on glass. <br />You don't have to let the negative comment affect you! <br />React properly and it will not ruin your day. <br />A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc. <br />How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? <br />Do you lose your temper? <br />Pound on the steering wheel? <br />A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off! <br />Do you curse? <br />Does your blood pressure skyrocket? <br />Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? <br />Why let the cars ruin your drive? <br />Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it. <br />You are told you lost your job. <br />Why lose sleep and get irritated? <br />It will work out. <br />Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job. <br />The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. <br />Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? <br />She has no control over what is going on. <br />Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. <br />Why get stressed out? <br />It will just make things worse. <br /><br />Now you know the 90-10 principle. <br />Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. <br />You will lose no thing if you try it. <br /><br />The 90-10 principle is incredible. <br />Very few know and apply this principle. <br />The result? <br />Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. <br />There never seem to be a success in life. <br />Bad days follow bad days. <br />Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. <br />There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. <br />Worry consumes time. <br />Anger breaks friendships and life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. <br />Friends are lost. <br />Life is a bore and often seems cruel. <br />Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. <br />You can be different! <br />Understand and apply the 90/10 principle. <br />It will change your life.m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-65247145169094057152008-04-03T23:30:00.000-07:002008-04-12T00:44:11.523-07:00Anger BookChap 1<br /><br />Anger starts with YOU.<br /><br />Only YOU can make YOURSELF angry because YOUR thoughts direct YOU to angry feelings. Notice the word YOU appears four times in capitals in the introduction.<br /><br />So, anger is when your tongue works faster than the mind.<br /><br />Can you recall the number of times we have cursed the toaster, the car, the traffic lights and our own personal computer when it does not work?<br /><br />It usually starts with the computer screen freezing, cursor not moving and we are unable to do anything but listen to the hum of the machine.<br /><br />Some would usually start giving the monitor some slaps accompanied by expletives (cursing and swearing) in the hope it would 'wake up' and start working.<br /><br />Naturally, the computer will not do as we scream at it. In fact, the problem seems only to worsen and it crashes more often!<br /><br />Fortunately, getting angry at an inanimate object is not as bad as getting angry with people.<br />Unchecked anger spoils relationships as I have come to realise.<br /><br />Some people have short fuses and explode at the slightest provocation. At times, I find myself bottling up anger and controlling this fuse in favour of keeping my relationship with the other person.<br /><br />When facing angry people, I follow four simple rules.<br /><br /><br /><br /><ul><li>I never argue with angry person as I'm more likely to get angry myself and thus will not be persuasive.</li><li>I do not interrupt the other as anger should be let to run its course. </li><li>Stay loose. Listen patiently.</li><li>Lastly, if things get from bad to worse, draw the line and walk away.</li></ul><p>Angry thoughts are more often that not triggered when one has experienced a stressful day.</p><p>If you've been busy the whole day, try tensing and relaxing parts of your body as is often done in yoga and other exercises to release tension in the muscles. </p><p>Some distancing is needed for things to get better. Like the computer, while waiting for it to reboot, perhaps doing something else like making a drink or just taking a stroll will help you think better thoughts instead of focusing on your anger.</p><p><br />Doing good deeds like making the drink for a colleague or family member would make this easier.</p><p>It is important to stop irritating yourself or adding more fuel to your anger. </p><p>Ask yourself what is it that is annoying you?</p><p>Go within to review what made you angry. Re-examine the real reason behind the bad mood. And then, smile for a moment, focus on something else and shift your mind to happier memories.</p><p>The person who is the most critical of you is yourself. While no one is perfect, we can strive for perfection.There are situations where we have little control like getting caught in a traffic jam.</p><p>Control how you respond. Pulling your head or feeling stressed will not help anyone or anything, much less make traffic move faster.</p><p>Take a deep breath and tell yourself, "I'm cool, calm and relaxed." Sing along to the radio or take a look at your surroundings. Go within and observe what is bothering you!<br /><br /><br />Chap 2<br /><br />ANGER IS NOT ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE, ANGER IS ABOUT YOU </p><p>Imagine yourself stuck in a traffic jam with horns blaring away all around you. Finally after two hours you managed to get home only to find your kids bawling away while your spouse is nagging at you. </p><p>There's no food on the table yet and you are hungry. Anger slowly wells inside you. You feel the temperature rising and soon things are going to get ugly. </p><p><br />YES! Anger is all about you. Although it can be triggered by various outside factors such as traffic jams, provocative conflict situations, domestic violence and nagging but ultimately anger start and ends with you.</p><p><br />Anger is an uncontrollable “fire” in the mind. As long as it rages within you, it will destroy your relationships, career, health and inner peace. </p><p><br />SO WHAT WENT WRONG WITH ME?<br /><br />Now imagine your house is on fire. What is the first thought that crossed your mind? Is it to put out the fire first or to chase after the suspected arsonist? </p><p><br />If you run after the person you suspect has burned your house, your house will burn down while you are chasing him or her. </p><p>That is not wise. You must go back and put out the fire. So when you are angry, if you continue to interact with or argue with the other person or punish the person, you are acting exactly like someone who runs after the arsonist while everything goes up in flames. </p><p><br />Anger is like electricity. It is powerful and useful but only if it is used intelligently. If we abuse our anger and do and say things it can change our lives completely. So, we must learn to stop ourselves from acting in a moment of madness.</p><p><br />Anger is your own enemy. It cannot harm you but it can hurt the people around you. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Personlly</span> speaking, it is understandable that you will always try to win no matter what. If you win a quarrel, you will feel satisfied but what about the other party?</p><p><br />Will they be able to accept it being people themselves? The relationship is damaged and the other party will always keep that lasting impression of you as an angry disagreeable person.<br />So how can you control your anger when another person is annoying you? </p><p><br />HOW TO CONTROL ANGER<br /><br />A Vietnamese monk living in France once said to his students: </p><p>“Embrace your anger with a lot of tenderness. Your anger is not your enemy; your anger is your baby. It’s like your stomach or your lungs. Every time you have some trouble in your lungs or stomach, you don’t think of throwing them away. The same is true with your anger. You accept your anger because you know you can take care of it; only then you can transform it into positive energy.” </p><ul><li>When angry withdraw from the place. It is always a good idea to retreat from whatever that is aggravating you. If you are feeling a surge of angry energy when faced with a difficult subject, walk away. Do not stay near the subject that has provoked you. When you have retreated move to the next step. </li><li>Cool your emotion. Give yourself a moment to calm down. Take a deep breath. Hold it in for two seconds then let go. Repeat it until you feel composed. </li><li>Drink a glass of cold water and sit quietly in a place. Let the coolness of the water course through your body while you shut yourself in from your surroundings that may distract you. </li><li>Take a brisk walk for a mile to get over your anger. Treat walking as a therapy session. During your walk, think about the consequences if you lash back angrily at the person.</li><li>Now think about the constructive alternative to solving your problem. Weigh them during your walk and reflect on it.</li><li>Stand before a mirror and look at your face. Is it still stuck in an angry grimace? Are your eyebrows still furrowed or has a serene composure taken over?<br /><br />Have you heard of the half-life concept? It is a physics concept whereby an atom splits into two following a radioactive decay. The atom will continue splitting into 1/4 and then 1/8 and so on.<br />The same applies to the energy created when you are angry with someone. The negative energy will dissipate but will never go away. It will be there within your system no matter how small it is.<br />When the negative energy piles up it will present a lot of problem to one's health.<br />o Anger and agitation gets the blood heated up.<br />o It takes three months for the blood to cool down.<br />o Within that period, the nervous system become weaker and even the blood cells get destroyed.<br />o Weakness is aggravated and the memory power is reduced.<br />o Old age sets in prematurely.<br /><br />By controlling anger you will be able to be more levelheaded, make better decisions and maintain more self-control. Guard your health by reducing the risks of blood pressure, cardiovascular disease and other stress-related illnesses like diabetes. Minus anger, you will have better relationships with others. </li></ul><p><br />So go for the knockout blow and win the fight against anger. Cultivate unconditional love in the heart to eliminate anger. Nobody can live happily with anger.<br />The next time you are angry, tell yourself, “My dear anger, I know you are there and I am taking good care of you,” said the Vietnamese monk.<br /><br />Chap 3 </p><p><br />JOY OF FORGIVING </p><p><br />Throughout life people will make you mad. They will disrespect you and treat you badly. </p><p>Let God deal with the things they do because hate in your heart will consume you too -- lyrics from <em>'Just <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">theTwo</span> of Us'</em> performed by Will Smith.</p><p>What happens when you don't forgive and carry that anger “baggage” with you?Anger, like other emotions, is accompanied by physiological <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">andbiological</span> changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">bloodpressure</span> goes up, as do the levels of your energy <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">hormonesand</span> adrenaline. </p><p>It can affect your health; as medical doctors and psychiatrists <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">willtell</span> you: "If you harbour anger, hatred, jealousy and animosity, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">youwill</span> be more likely to be susceptible to heartburn, indigestion <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">andhigh</span> blood pressure."What happens when you forgive?Good thoughts bear good fruits, bad thoughts bear bad fruits."</p><p>Meditation and yoga gurus will tell you: "It will bring you joy and you will feel light hearted because you don't carry a heavy burden in your mind. Forgive with love in your heart.” </p><p>Just as we bathe and clean ourselves from the daily grime and dirt, we should cleanse our mind from negative thoughts. When you get rid negative of negative thoughts you will create <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">moreroom</span> for positive thoughts.</p><p>There is no greater wealth than a mind free of anger, jealousy, greed and other negative thoughts. Anger can be like powerful electricity that can do much destruction if not contained properly.</p><p>There are many ways to deal with anger. </p><ul><li>Counting from 1 to 10 and breathing calmly gives you time to relax.</li><li>Talking it out can help resolve matters.</li><li>Pouring out your feelings in writing helps diffuse the riling emotions in yourself.</li></ul><p>When all else fails, and you are still angry, try to purge <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">youraggression</span> out by pounding on a pillow or a punching bag.</p><p>Physical exercises also are a good way to channel the negative <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">energyinto</span> good use.</p><p>A cold shower does wonders to suppress intense emotions including anger. Then it would be good for you to reflect on the reason behind your anger. Check on the thoughts that seem to trigger your fury and always remember to take time out. </p><p>Managing anger is important as it begins and ends with you. You maybe angry at your spouse or child, but eventually you become the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">victimof</span> your own rage.</p><p>We can take a leaf out of the lessons learned by Robert <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Kiyosaki</span>.(pix idea) <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Kiyosaki</span> is a 59 year old personal finance guru who made millions through his "<em>Rich Dad, Poor Dad </em>" book series. He has been holding lucrative seminars around the world for more than 15 years now. Lessons he learned from both success and bankruptcy inspired him to become a "business educator", which sowed the seeds for his 1997 bestseller.</p><p>The book is a biographical account of learning about money from his "poor" father and a "rich" neighbour. <em>Asian Wall Street Journal</em> asked him how he kept his personal problem separate from work? </p><p>He responded: "Both my wife and I have a therapist -- our rule is, if we are upset with each other for more than 45 minutes, then I have to see my counselor, a sort of emotional coach to help get me through my anger. I don't think I'd be as successfully married if I didn't have someone else I could go talk to."</p><p>When asked, if he had any regrets, he said"I wouldn't change too much in my life. Not that I haven't made many mistakes, it's just that every mistake was valuable. The biggest, most humiliating experience was my bankruptcy. It was really tough to look at what was working and what was not working in my life."</p><p>This shows that <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Kiyosaki</span> had contemplated his life and accepted the mistakes he made as life-learning lessons. He went within himself to relearn his mistakes, which is how he resolved the conflict within himself and surfaced triumphant.</p><p>Gautama Buddha in his great moment of meditation discovered the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">eightright</span>-fold path in Buddhism.Under the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">bodhi</span> tree in India 25 centuries ago, Buddha (pix idea)realized the three states of the mind that were the source of all our unhappiness: wrong-knowing, obsessive desire and anger.</p><p>All three are difficult to deal with, and anger is one of the most powerful that can ruin lives by promoting vengeance, keeping you trapped in a cycle of unhappiness. Not to forget, health and spiritual development can also be destroyed.</p><p></p><p>Chapter 4</p><p><br /><strong>A SLAVE TO ANGER</strong> </p><p><br />A man in shackles trudges slowly by. He walks with great difficulty because his legs are chained too and the chains are too short for comfort. That man's name is Anger and he is a slave. Your slave.</p><p><br />You may whip him as you wish. Kick him. Hit him. Because he is your slave.</p><p><br />But now the slave picks up the whip and he hits you instead. You cower in fear as Anger breaks free from his chains and pummel you repeatedly with his fists of fury. That is anger.<br />Slave to a slave.</p><p><br />Getting angry is like being a slave to a slave. Do you want to be a slave to your anger? </p><p><br />Many spiritual leaders and psychologists say that the root cause of anger is our "ego".<br />In modern-day society, ego has many meanings. It could mean one’s self-esteem; an inflated sense of self-worth; or in philosophical terms, one’s self. </p><p><br />However, according to Freud, the ego is the part of the mind which contains the consciousness. Originally, Freud had associated the word ego to meaning a sense of self; however, he later revised it to mean a set of psychic functions such as judgment, tolerance, reality-testing, control, planning, defense, synthesis of information, intellectual functioning, and memory. </p><p><br />It is similar with anger. Ego may make you angry which in turn will become the master and control you. </p><p><br />Slavery, which was abolished long ago, is bad enough. That is why it is incorrect to direct your anger towards another person. Some people turn to spirituality, meditation or religion to control their anger and find solace in it. Others read books and forget it the next day. </p><p><br />While there others who attend courses and forget two days later, inner happiness, which is the antidote to anger, can only be found within oneself. Patience, compassion and love for others will help people in understanding anger better. </p><p><br />When a person gets angry we say that he has lost his balance. The moment we begin to respect others as well as ourselves then we will be able to put into practice, "Treat others as how you would like to be treated."</p><p><br />Often we find that we always want to be in the right and the other party is wrong. This very view can wrought anger upon us. </p><p><br />Anger is also triggered when I exaggerate our difficulties. When this happens you will be sowing the seeds for anger to grow in yourself. </p><p><br />Therefore, when you face a problem, try to see the brighter side of it. When you harp on it, you will only make it worse. Instead, turn the problem into a lesson. Quit whining and change yourself for the better.</p><p><br />A guru once said, “Thinking of the mistakes of someone else, you can become angry. To face and resist a bad man you have to become even worse than him. So, be careful in pointing out the mistakes of others. If you point out the mistakes of others with one finger, three fingers point towards you.”</p><p><br /><strong>Statements that may provoke anger</strong></p><strong><ul><li></strong></li></ul>Stop talking about my family <li>Why are you shouting at the children?</li><li>Money! Money! Money! We are always fighting about money</li><li>I want you to do it my way and not your way</li><li>Stop picking on me </li><li>I am not at fault </li><li>I am right, you are wrong</li><li>I am sick and tired of you of your nagging </li><p>Chapter 5</p><p>PRESIDENT WHO GOT CLAWED BY WIFE</p><p>The President of a leading nation stood before a press conference. While he was talking, the reporters noticed scratches around his neck above his collar. </p><p>Curious reporters soon after the press conference asked the press secretary what caused the bruises around his <span style="font-size:0;">neck</span>. The press secretary replied the President’s bruises occurred while he was shaving hurriedly to attend the press conference. </p><p>It was noticeable a series of vivid red crawled-like wound on his neck and face. The scratches were among unexplained cuts and bruises he had over the cause of his turbulent marriage.</p><p>Later as a reporter investigated further with the President’s office and security personnel, he was told that the First Lady had clawed him because he was seen with another woman the previous night.</p><p>This is a case of how the President’s wife vented her anger because she lost ‘cool’ of herself and decided to physically hurt her husband.<br /><br />According to the Presidential staff, screaming, shouting, slamming doors were a norm for the First Lady. It was unfortunate the President had to take the brunt of his wife’s fury.</p><p><br />What has caused all this?<br />Anger.</p><p>This could be one of the main reasons the physical hurt and mental agony he had to live with. What provoked her to scratch or claw her husband is a case of her feeling insecure because the husband was unfaithful. It is ironical for one of the most powerful leaders in the world to be beaten up by his wife! </p><p>It is even more surprising the couple in their early fifties had lived through hair – trigger tempers for more than 20 years. The source of this ultimate suffering was because both parties were stuck to their point of views and lifestyle and never wanted to admit their mistakes, faults and weaknesses. </p><p><br />If the President appreciated his wife, she would be elated and smile from ear to ear. On the other hand if he noticed a fault with her, she became very insecure and abusive, lashing her tongue at the President. </p><p>Infidelity is the root cause and no wife will ever tolerate it! Why do people carry the pain of differences for so long?</p><p>It is understood that acceptance is better than distraction in dealing with pain. So what most couples do is to live with the anger instead of confronting it. </p><p>We end up seeing couples not talking to each other and doing things to spite each other off even when they still live together. And, this could ruin the entire relationship past a point of no return and hurt loved ones who are not involved directly.</p><p><strong>What makes a relationship work?</strong></p><ul><li>Don’t settle scores with others </li><li>Talk it out with your partner </li><li>Creating harmony in the family helps</li><li>Learn to be a good finder and not a fault-finder</li><li>Do not force your opinion on your partner. </li><li>Focus on togetherness and not difference </li></ul><p>Anger is a natural human emotion and is nature’s way of our perception of an attack or threat to our well being. The problem is not anger; the problem is the mismanagement of anger. </p><p>Mismanaged anger and rage is the major cause of conflict in our personal and professional relationships. Domestic abuse, road rage, workplace violence, divorce, and addiction are just a few examples of what happens when anger is mismanaged.</p><p><em>Anger is driving her, says expert article from The Malay Mail, April 7, 2008</em></p><p><em>RENOWNED psychiatrist Tan Sri M. Mahadevan classified Sufiah Yusof as someone who may be intellectually mature but not so on the emotional level. He said Sufiah "grew up too fast" with her unusual talent. But unfortunately, her life was too controlled by her father. Now at 23, she is completely different emotionally from others her age.<br />Sufiah's life was all about studying and achieving the best grades possible; and it paid off with her entry into Oxford University at age of 13. "That's definitely something to be proud of, but we don't know if that's what Sufiah had always wanted or was pressured into," he said.<br />Mahadevan believed that the unsavoury occupation Sufiah has chosen to venture into was not to seek money; it was more to spite her family. "When she was younger, she was unable to fight. So, as soon as she got the chance, she found something through which she could let out her pent-up frustration."<br />"People can only see what is in the open, no one knows what had happened between Sufiah and her father that resulted in such loathing," he said. "She was suffering from aggression that Led to depression, and finally found the means to let it out," he said.<br />There is also a possibility that she was frustrated with her mother too, for not being able see what was going on. He described Sufiah's character disorder is being akin to a moral insanity she had endured all her life. To make things worse, the sentencing of her father to 18 months jail at Coventry Crown Court for sexually assaulting two 15-year-old girls when he was home tutoring them may have been the final nail in the coffin.</em></p><p><strong>Chapter 6</strong></p><p><strong>DIVORCE…DECISION…DESTRUCTION<br /></strong><br />A wife gets angry with the unfaithful husband and it results in a divorce. A multi millionaire husband gets angry in a board meeting, makes a wrong decision and losses a fortune. Their son gets angry with his sister and breaks her toys.<br /><br />Every action ends up in a negative behaviour and the children have learned how to be angry like their parents. Anger can be experienced several different ways. You can feel angry with yourself for not having done well in the examination, or you can get angry with someone else or an object like your slippers, which made you fall down.<br /><br />Whether you trip over a carpet or get angry with the shopkeeper, spouse or boyfriend it is anger caused by external circumstances or interaction with another person. Internal anger is directed at yourself for something that you have done yourself and blame yourself for causing it.<br /><br />Anger is one of the most destructive emotions prevalent among human beings. When a person is in a state of anger or rage, he or she can unleash behaviour that can be aggressive or violent, and it is this that leads to destruction.<br /><br />The next time you get angry look at your face in the mirror. Can you imagine how you would look ? You can be rest assured you are not the most beautiful person when you get angry because the cells and muscles on our face become tense and you are not presentable. Your face is like a bomb that is about to explode.<br /><br />Try and objectively observe another person when he she or gets angry. When you see yourself all tensed up, you have a choice to change your character of getting angry or not getting worked by anger.<br /><br />Think of it ... unchecked anger corrodes relationships. Some people have short fuses and explode at the slightest provocation. Others try to bottle up their rage, usually without success.<br /><br />MANAGE ANGER : GO WITHIN<br /><br />By choosing to manage your anger, you will be able to observe mindfully the painful circumstances that make you angry, and make an effort to change. As only you can observe the changes within your mind's eye, your personal effort can help in altering anger (negative energy) to being happy (positive energy). </p><p>Internalise, for a moment: "So, if I lose my cool I get angry. Your choice to get angry or not puts the responsibility for emotions squarely on your own shoulders. So, I don't be a prisoner and slave to my emotions." </p><p>One way to overcome anger is to write a journal. This is done with the INTENTION of finding a solution for the problem and COMMITTING yourself to finding it. It's no use keeping an anger journal for five years and keep getting angry the moment someone drops a glass.<br /><br />Anger, unchecked corrodes relationships. Some people have short fuses and explode at the slightest provocation. Others try to bottle up their rage, usually without success. While there are others who attend courses and forget two days later.</p><p>Inner happiness, which is the antidote to anger, can only be found within oneself. Patience, compassion and love for others suffering will help people in understanding anger better.</p><p>From anger comes delusion, according to the ancient Vedas. A person in a state of anger does not think properly. That person's mind is carried away by the emotion of anger and such a one cannot see the consequences of his or her action. In this way delusion arises. </p><p>From delusion, loss of memory, from loss of memory the destruction of discrimination, and from destruction of discrimination one perishes.</p><p><strong>Chapter 7</strong></p><p> EXPRESSING ANGER<br /><br />As we reflect at our workplace, we must take charge of ourselves and learn how to quit anger. Think about your priority, what is it that you want to accomplish next in your career, and what it will take to do that and if quitting anger will help, why not take this path. Whatever we do in our lives it is our choice, and the choices we make.</p><p>In the case of an employee who keeps griping about the bosses and the company decides: “I will lose out on my promotions and bonuses if I fight the management and the best thing to do for my career development is to work along with my bosses.” So the employee will do his best work in spite of his differences with his boss.<br /></p><p>Some other ways of dealing with anger is to jog our memory on the source of the anger. If your angry feeling are directed at yourself and you are angry with yourself about something, try to express those feelings to a friend, a colleague or a counselor. Get it off your chest.</p><p>If you chose a non-productive way of dealing with anger you would end up bottling it up and hurting yourself emotionally. Sandbagging or keeping the angry feelings to yourself means to avoiding the person who made you angry and sidestepping the issue. </p><p>It happens when you fear hurting someone else's feelings and resort to hurting yourself. They may resent it if you express your feelings to them. So, stop talking and try listening.<br />We know that many people suffer, feeling that no one is able to understand them or their situation. </p><p> Everyone is too busy and no one seems to have the capacity to listen. But all of us need someone who can listen to us.<br />Deep listening, compassionate listening is not listening with the purpose of anlaysing or even uncovering what has happened in the past. You listen first of all in order to give other person relief, a chance to speak out, to feel that someone finally understands him. </p><p>Compassion is the antidote for anger and bitterness. If you keep compassion in you while listening, then anger and irritation cannot arise. Otherwise the things he says, the things she says will touch off your irritation, anger and suffering. Compassion alone can protect your from becoming angry or full of despair.<br />Confusion and ignorane make us think that we are the only ones who suffer. We believe that otherts do not suffer<br /> .....extract ANGER Thich Nhat Hanh, author of Living Buddha, Living Christ<br />· Demonstrate empathy: Your employee needs to know that you are concerned with his currents productivity problem and want to help resolve it. By approaching him with understanding, you will help him open up to you. He will also feel more optimistic about solving the problem if he knows that he has your support.<br /> · Listen more than you talk: During a counselling session, it is important that you providmore listening than talking. He will appreciate talking to someone who is willing to listen to his situation.<br /><br />· Encourage listening: Everyone involved in the resolution of a conflict should listen to one an other in order to understand each other’s point of view and seasoning. Those involved will never be able to agree on a suitable resolution unless they are aware of and appreciate the other’s person’s viewpoint. Listening will also expedite the conflict resolution process and enable the employees involved to focus on developing a solution that is acceptable to everyone.<br /><br />· Identify common goals: One of the most effective ways to resolve a conflict is to identify common goals your employees share. When they see that their efforts are directed towards achieving the same goal, it will be easier to motivate them towards reaching a mutually beneficial solution.</p><p>e your staff member plenty of opportunities to express his feeling. Generally, you should do </p><p>HEART RATE AND BLOOD PRESSURE</p><p> </p>m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5012722160373494350.post-72762890210683907022008-04-03T18:02:00.000-07:002008-12-09T21:40:44.149-08:00participatory journalism<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcNqKweT9gRDW7hEQSBJXS4rS3stRRCfwbr-vGZNRvIkCMym0UhSkCE-SJmJ8YbpaFVdDHpf8mUmUOQ_2xqwnTg14nCrd8sUdy4-x4o3PP_LG4mfRqm9tNa9mFe6VjWfHcZwvELak2yrE/s1600-h/mp.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5185196600246736242" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcNqKweT9gRDW7hEQSBJXS4rS3stRRCfwbr-vGZNRvIkCMym0UhSkCE-SJmJ8YbpaFVdDHpf8mUmUOQ_2xqwnTg14nCrd8sUdy4-x4o3PP_LG4mfRqm9tNa9mFe6VjWfHcZwvELak2yrE/s320/mp.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a 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/><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2Btvvk4O4VUqabECJXHyAR-5yUtQjg92VlNIkN9SOOiGyv6vOtcdpEYUxw5e3p2wqoV3bbGdAnnLpz5dg0I152np7FEvfsQQ3348vjkvMSUCGRhUAIKRxyBU7Zq4ar0ysnqpsBZjhBKo/s1600-h/ompuri.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5185191605199770786" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2Btvvk4O4VUqabECJXHyAR-5yUtQjg92VlNIkN9SOOiGyv6vOtcdpEYUxw5e3p2wqoV3bbGdAnnLpz5dg0I152np7FEvfsQQ3348vjkvMSUCGRhUAIKRxyBU7Zq4ar0ysnqpsBZjhBKo/s320/ompuri.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div>Participatory Journalism<br /><br /></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div>Puts the Reader in the Driver's Seat<a href="http://www.ojr.org/ojr/writers/archivec2b5.html?personID=76">J.D. Lasica</a>, OJR Senior Editor <a href="mailto:jd@well.com"></a>Posted: 2003-08-07Over the past few years, the outlines of a new form of journalism have begun to emerge. Call it participatory journalism or one of its kindred names -- open-source journalism, personal media, grassroots reporting -- but everyone from individuals to online newspapers has begun to take notice."It's about readers participating in the editorial process, and it's long overdue," says <a href="http://weblog.siliconvalley.com/column/dangillmor/" target="_blank"><a href="http://weblog.siliconvalley.com/column/dangillmor/" target="_blank">Dan Gillmor</a></a>, a blogger and technology columnist for the San Jose Mercury News, who is writing a book on the subject called "Making the News." "People at the edges of the network are getting a chance to become more involved in traditional journalism by using many of the same tools of the trade. This is tomorrow's journalism, with professionals and gifted amateurs as partners."Gillmor put his credo in action by publishing his <a href="http://weblog.siliconvalley.com/column/dangillmor/archives/000924.shtml#000924" target="_blank"><a href="http://weblog.siliconvalley.com/column/dangillmor/archives/000924.shtml#000924" target="_blank">book outline</a></a> online and asking his readers to react and contribute to it.A new report on participatory journalism by <a href="http://www.hypergene.net/clients/ndn/" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.ndn.org/webdata/we_media/we_media.htm" target="_blank">New Directions for News</a></a> concludes: "Journalism finds itself at a rare moment in history where ... its hegemony as gatekeeper of the news is threatened by not just new technology and competitors but, potentially, by the audience it serves."Armed with easy-to-use Web publishing tools, always-on connections and increasingly powerful mobile devices, the online audience has the means to become an active participant in the creation and dissemination of news and information." (Disclaimer: The writer of this article edited the NDN report).Today, you can see glimmers of participatory journalism seeping into online news sites. The new media managers at the <a href="http://www.sfnewmexican.com/" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.sfnewmexican.com/" target="_blank">Santa Fe New Mexican</a></a> have been won over by the idea and hope to broaden the various forms of reader participation on the newspaper?s Web site."We'd like to drastically increase the site's interactivity and the amount of reader contributions," says Stefan Dill, who became the New Mexican's Web editor a year ago. "We just marvel at what OhmyNews has done."<a href="http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,58856,00.html" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,58856,00.html" target="_blank">OhmyNews</a></a> is South Korea?s most influential news site. With a daily readership of 2 million, it is a collaborative media outlet staffed by professional journalists and a nationwide army of 26,000 citizen journalists.For now, Dill and Web publisher Michael Odza are spearheading an internal study group seeking ways to make the online edition more user-friendly. Santa Fe would appear to be a perfect laboratory for expanding the role of readers in the site's content, Dill says, because of its diverse, educated and politically active population. The daily paper has a circulation of 24,000 while the Web site pulls in 100,000 unique visitors per month. (Besides Odza and Dill, the Web team has only two production assistants and a sales representative.)Future initiatives aside, Dill points to elements of reader content that have already appeared on the site. A section called <a href="http://santafenewmexican.com/main.asp?SectionID=2&SubSectionID=337&ArticleID=29402" target="_blank"><a href="http://santafenewmexican.com/main.asp?SectionID=2&SubSectionID=337&ArticleID=29402" target="_blank">CityDifferentNews</a></a> invites readers to share personal and community news. The site publishes a section devoted to <a href="http://www.santafenewmexican.com/main.asp?SectionID=6" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.santafenewmexican.com/main.asp?SectionID=6" target="_blank">photos submitted by readers</a></a>. A new section being developed will invite comments from people who were eyewitnesses to key <a href="http://www.santafenewmexican.com/main.asp?SectionID=36&SubSectionID=361&ArticleI" target="_blank">local historical events</a>. And starting July 16, the paper began publishing a <a href="http://www.santafenewmexican.com/main.asp?TypeID=1&ArticleID=30003&SectionID=2&SubSectionID=337&Page=1" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.santafenewmexican.com/main.asp?TypeID=1&ArticleID=30003&SectionID=2&SubSectionID=337&Page=1" target="_blank">Fire Log</a></a> -- a collection of reports from the scene of a major wildfire written by readers who were affected.The New Mexican views the Fire Log as particularly successful. Recounts Dill: "When comments on the regular fire stories started to show reader frustration between the Forest Service press releases and the actual amount of smoke and asthma they were experiencing, we invited people to report conditions, experiences, health conditions, fire visibility, etc., in their specific areas. Many people did so, posting information that was very different from what was being officially passed down."This struck us as a successful microcosm of an OhmyNews dynamic in action," he says. What resonated with the editors was that users were treating the reader postings as legitimate sources of news. No other fire story during the week ranked in the top 10, but the Fire Log finished consistently among the site?s top 10 stories.Other online publications have taken to inviting reader contributions. <a href="http://www.dallasnews.com/" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.dallasnews.com/" target="_blank">The Dallas Morning News</a></a> posted photos of space shuttle debris submitted by readers. The BBC News posted a <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/talking_point/2763101.stm" target="_blank"><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/talking_point/2763101.stm" target="_blank">photo gallery</a></a> of antiwar protestors taken by readers, and has a standing "<a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/in_pictures/default.stm" target="_blank"><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/in_pictures/default.stm" target="_blank">Taken a Good Picture Lately</a></a>?" photo essay feature that uses photos e-mailed in by readers around the globe. BBC's instructions to participating readers state that if submitted photos are newsy enough, they "may be used immediately within a picture gallery or story."One news station in Japan recently <a href="http://www.ojr.org/ojr/technology/1058998393.html" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.ojr.org/ojr/technology/1058998393.html" target="_blank">aired live coverage</a></a> of a massive fatal accident from a citizen-reporter -- a trucker who happened to have his video-enabled cell phone with him, and e-mailed video of the wreck to the station with his phone. (For a breakdown of the different kinds of <a href="http://www.ojr.org/ojr/workplace/1060217106.html" target="_blank">participatory journalism</a>, see accompanying story.)<a href="http://www.ojr.org/ojr/technology/1057780670.html" target="_blank">Journalism experts </a>predict more coverage of breaking news will come from citizen reporters as <a href="http://www.editorandpublisher.com/editorandpublisher/features_columns/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1835539" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.editorandpublisher.com/editorandpublisher/features_columns/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1835539" target="_blank">photo and video-enabled phones</a></a> become more ubiquitous worldwide."The truth is that most people are not witnesses to news most days," said <a href="http://www.ojr.org/ojr/technology/1058998393.html" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.ojr.org/ojr/technology/1058998393.html" target="_blank">Jeff Jarvis</a></a>, a seasoned journalist who is author of the blog <a href="http://buzzmachine.com/" target="_blank">Buzzmachine.com</a> and president and creative director of <a href="http://advance.net/" target="_blank">Advance.net</a>, the Internet arm of Advance Publications."But on that occasion when big news happens, the odds are better and better that witnesses who are there will now have the tools to capture and share images and news."'Thin' is in: Citizens take up journalism?s toolsMany examples of participatory journalism have taken place outside the sphere of traditional media. Individuals who once would have shied away from describing what they do as journalism are increasingly trying on the term and concluding that, yes, they?re quite capable of providing credible news without any help from big media.Community news sites published by amateurs are <a href="http://www.ojr.org/ojr/glaser/1058302459.html" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.ojr.org/ojr/glaser/1058302459.html" target="_blank">storming the suburbs</a></a>. And many other independent publishers are now doing more than commenting on news reported by mainstream press -- they're doing original research, interviewing sources and posting original content.Such examples of small-scale, independent publishing are sometimes called "<a href="http://www.thedigitalentrepreneur.com/henry-copeland.html" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.thedigitalentrepreneur.com/henry-copeland.html" target="_blank">thin media</a></a>" -- small operations focused on niche news, information and advice not normally found in mainstream media.Niche news sites, Weblogs, discussion groups and mailing lists are all growing sources of thin media. Some do journalism, some just post commentary and link to stories done by mainstream media. Examples include the one-person publications <a href="http://www.gawker.com/" target="_blank">Gawker</a>, <a href="http://www.gizmodo.com/" target="_blank">Gizmodo</a> and <a href="http://www.iwantmedia.com/" target="_blank">IWantMedia</a>, Jay Small's <a href="http://smallinitiatives.com/" target="_blank"><a href="http://smallinitiatives.com/" target="_blank">Sensible Internet Design newsletter</a></a>, and the mailing lists run by <a href="http://www.interesting-people.org/archives/interesting-people/" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.interesting-people.org/archives/interesting-people/" target="_blank">Dave Farber</a></a> and <a href="http://www.politechbot.com/" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.politechbot.com/" target="_blank">Declan McCullagh</a></a>.The New Directions for News report says of this phenomenon: "Everyone on the Internet is a potential expert on some subject -- from Pez dispensers to digital photography techniques to wormholes -- and these participatory forms are great places to find and share not only obscure or rare information, but commentary that might be too controversial for mainstream media."One of those niche publishers is Sheila Spencer Stover of Bunn, N.C., whose Indian name is Firehair Shining Spirit. She runs the Internet Native News and Issues List, a mailing list with 400 members, mostly native Americans. (It has no Web site. Those interested in joining may e-mail her at <a href="mailto:ItsShngsprt2@aol.com">ItsShngsprt2@aol.com</a>.)During the week of July 14, her mailing list picked up in intensity as members began contributing news and reporting on a raid conducted by Rhode Island State Police on the Narragansett Smoke Shop. The shop, frequented by Rhode Islanders to avoid the state's hefty cigarette tax, is on tribal land in Charlestown, R.I. -- land that the Narragansett regard as sovereign, given their status as a federally recognized tribe.During the raid, state police officers pinned Indians to the ground while German shepherds nipped at their clothing. In the end, eight people were hospitalized and seven tribal members arrested. The smoke shop remains closed.Firehair sent an e-mail to the governor of Rhode Island, copying it to her list members as well, citing federal laws that require authorities to deal with sovereign Indian tribes through the federal court system rather than through state or local law enforcement."The actions taken by the state police were illegal, but that didn't get a lot of press," she said in a phone interview. "If the people being attacked had been Asian or blacks or Hispanic, it would have been all over the news. But it was just Indians being assaulted on their own land, so here we are again."A 67-year-old single mother (she has two adopted children of Mayan background), Firehair has fair skin, blue eyes and red hair. She is a member of the Delaware/Minisink Band and counts Narragansett Indians among her ancestors. Her mailing list buzzed with activity on the days following the altercation.One member reported that Indians from 100 tribes around the nation were heading to Rhode Island to lend their support. Another reported that construction workers in Coventry, R.I., taped turkey feathers to their hard hats in a "crude but effective" show of support for the Indians. Others chimed in with legal commentary and offers of support for the Narragansetts.Firehair began her mailing list seven years ago after being censored on a list run by the Seneca Indians. "I try to steer my list to what?s going on in Indian country," she says, adding that she allows free-ranging discussion and doesn't squash views she doesn?t share."Our members talk about prison rights, religious freedom, the selling of spirituality, the repatriation of bones, the stockpiling of native artifacts in museums stolen out of grave sites, building on sacred lands, the reclaiming of languages, elder health, Alaskan natives afflicted by gas-sniffing, suicide on reservations, issues with Indian trust monies, the Pipestone project in Montana, where they want to build a theme park on sacred land -- we exchange news about anything and everything," she says.Firehair says she spends three to four hours a day on the computer managing her mailing list. "Indians across the continent really weren't aware of what was going on with other tribes until we began using the Internet to communicate with each other," she says. "I want everybody to have access to all the news. The dominant culture ignores the issues that are important to us."How often do you see news from Indian country covered in the media, in newspapers, or on 'Oprah'? And yet 50 percent of the Indian population lives in urban areas and in mixed communities. Our children need to be educated about our own history."A turbulent ride ahead<a href="http://www.redpaper.com/" target="_blank"><a href="http://www.redpaper.com/" target="_blank">RedPaper</a></a>, a three-week-old enterprise that bills itself as a "collaborative newspaper," says it "gives everyone the ability to be a reporter, have your own column, post articles, name your story price, and sell your work to millions of potential readers around the world."As an experimental marketplace for information, the site allows people to publish and sell their writing, ranging from muffin recipes and car maintenance tips to poetry and short fiction. Some enterprising citizen-reporters brought together court documents in the Kobe Bryant case and are offering them to readers at $2 per download.Another brand of thin media involves initiatives with a limited life span.The founders of <a href="http://www.metafilter.com/" target="_blank">Metafilter</a> and <a href="https://www.kuro5hin.org/" target="_blank">Kuro5hin</a> plan to launch an independent news site this fall to track the 2004 presidential campaign. Matt Haughey and Rusty Foster, the programmers behind those two collaborative media sites, will create a "smart mob-style site" to provide a place for independent reporting about next year's election.The site, still in development, will consist of three elements, Haughey says: a section devoted to Weblog-style entries about daily campaign events; a second area for first-person campaign coverage, including digital photos, phonecam shots, audio and video clips and interview transcripts; and finally news stories building on the first two sections. Readers will be allowed to edit and rewrite stories.All of this begs the question: Will forms of participatory journalism and traditional journalism complement each other, or collide head on? It may be a bit of both."It's difficult to figure out where all this is going to wind up," Gillmor says. "Journalism from the edges is taking us to a new place. The only thing certain is that we'll never return to the days when people are treated as passive vessels for content delivered by big media through one-way pipes -- no matter how disruptive these changes may be for traditional media."We're in for a fascinating ride."</div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div>Malaysian journalists play role in Hindi movieKUALA LUMPUR: Malaysian journalists will be featured in a media “ambush” scene in Bollywood movie Don, which is being filmed here.About 10 reporters from the Indian and local television networks and The Star, ambush actor Om Puri, who plays an Interpol officer from India, in the movie.In the scene, he is in Malaysia to work with the local police and the Anti-Narcotics Department, seeking their assistance to arrest Indian underworld kingpins involved in the drug-smuggling trade.The Star's chief reporter M. Krishnamoorthy and photographer S.S. Kanesan took part in the ambush press conference, in which reporters asked questions about the whereabouts of a drug kingpin who had escaped police custody.IN ACTION: Krishnamoorthy (right) is among the Malaysian journalists who ambush Om Puri in the Hindi movie Don which is being filmed here.Bollywood thespian Om Puri, 55, has appeared in 180 movies, and played major roles in English movies City of Joy and East is East.Most of Don's scenes are shot in Malaysia, with shooting also taking place in Paris and India. The movie is a remake of the 1978 blockbuster Don, which starred Bollywood icon Amitabh Bachchan</div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div>smile when angry<br />Smile when AngryAn easy way to fight anger.Ah, anger. Something we are all aware of, something we are familiar with and even experience on a daily basis. As in everything else we say or do, anger becomes a habit when we lose control and give it permission to come out in a torrent of words and even action.Only one reason for this ~ we don't realize that, like everything else, we need to control anger and not let it control us and give us cause to repent at leisure!Everything seems to suggest that anger is bad. Invariably we ourselves feel terrible after losing control and saying and doing things we regret and feel embarrassed about when we cool down and have had time to think.Okay, let's think. Isn't it true that there is a time and place for everything? There is reason for everything -- physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. Nothing is useless. What may not be useful to one person is not necessarily so for another.When we consider our own physical, mental and emotional make-up nothing is superfluous. Doctors may say our tonsils and appendix serve no real purpose and taking them out is not life threatening.But tonsils get swollen when we have an infection so they serve as a first line of defense and warning that all is not physically well with us. The appendix serves as a receptacle for what the body rejects.MIND CONTROLThe physical brain is the center for sending impulses throughout our body at the command of our mind which shapes our perceptions and our will to deal with the dictates of our senses.If our mind is able to control our senses well and good but if it is the other way round - the senses control the mind - we are in trouble. It is our experience that there is no end to satisfying our senses and only the mind can save us.But the mind has to rely on intelligence, shaped by knowledge and our capacity to learn, if it is work well.When it comes to emotions, we as humans have them to bind or separate us. There are positive and negative emotions - love, hate, compassion, envy, joy, disappointment and lots more.It is ours to decide what we want to do with them just as the physical world is there for us to</div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>m.krishnamoorthyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03386894388732852466noreply@blogger.com0